Aha! A german online Advent calendar!

http://www.leo.org/wkal/

That face staring back at you in Playboy (and probably any other contemporary magazine or advertisement)?

I'm sorry to disappoint.

Watch this video:

http://www.campaignforrealbeauty.com/

Haiku

Back to school again
Wishing for dramatic change
Only time will tell

If you can beat that, let it show . . .

Do you like the picture of my boobies?

I think their blue feet are fascinating. Plus, the above line was a free stab at a lame joke. Hurrah!

http://www.freep.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20061119/NEWS03/611190639

10 pages down, 5 more to go.

I don't know what to say.

I'm going to spend this next week in Broomfield and the Springs, writing a paper on No Child Left Behind.

I've been finding myself glued to my car seat when I pull into a parking spot. I just don't want to get out. Being inside that little metal and glass casing offers some kind of facade of protection, maybe.

You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first, I loved you first
Beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth
I have to go, I have to go
Your hair was long when we first met

Samson went back to bed
Not much hair left on his head
He ate a slice of wonder bread and went right back to bed
And history books forgot about us and the bible didn't mention us
And the bible didn't mention us, not even once

You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first, I loved you first
Beneath the stars came fallin' on our heads
But they're just old light, they're just old light
Your hair was long when we first met

Samson came to my bed
Told me that my hair was red
Told me I was beautiful and came into my bed
Oh I cut his hair myself one night
A pair of dull scissors in the yellow light
And he told me that I'd done alright
And kissed me 'til the mornin' light, the mornin' light
And he kissed me 'til the mornin' light

Samson went back to bed
Not much hair left on his head
Ate a slice of wonderbread and went right back to bed
Oh, we couldn't bring the columns down
Yeah we couldn't destroy a single one
And history books forgot about us
And the bible didn't mention us, not even once

You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first

Regina Spektor, "Samson"

We finished watching High Fidelity in HD302 today.

Rob: Top five things I miss about Laura. One; sense of humor. Very dry, but it can also be warm and forgiving. And she's got one of the best all time laughs in the history of all time laughs, she laughs with her entire body. Two; she's got character. Or at least she had character before the Ian nightmare. She's loyal and honest, and she doesn't even take it out on people when she's having a bad day. That's character.

Three; I miss her smell, and the way she tastes. It's a mystery of human chemistry and I don't understand it, some people, as far as their senses are concerned, just feel like home.

I really dig how she walks around. It's like she doesn't care how she looks or what she projects and it's not that she doesn't care it's just, she's not affected I guess, and that gives her grace. And five; she does this thing in bed when she can't get to sleep, she kinda half moans and then rubs her feet together an equal number of times... it just kills me. Believe me, I mean, I could do a top five things about her that drive me crazy but it's just your garden variety women you know, schizo stuff and that's the kind of thing that got me here.

I found the first blog I started. It has entries from almost three years ago:

http://www.blurty.com/users/oldblue/

Why do I keep a blog?

I feel like I don't say anything of substance, aside from the occasional from-the-gut honesty.

I suppose it allows me some control of what I disclose to people and what I don't, and I feel like I haven't had a lot of control in the past couple of weeks.

If I had to put a label on how I feel, it would be empty, like I'm hollow where my ribcage used to be.

What I used to look forward to isn't there anymore, and that's a hard thing to accept.

Fuck it, I need a dog.

Beulah

For field, I'm most likely going to be at an alternative high school, which is what I had been hoping for.

------------------------------------------------

Have you seen that moon-faced kid?
That burned out halo hangs right above his head
It's so hard not to be crushed
When you're praying for too much
And the stars refuse to shine for you
They do it just to spite
Well they know you're trying too hard

Hoping for a little more than just another kiss goodnight
Your face is full and paved with lines
Your hair's receding fast and so is your mind
And that lazy eye won't budge
'Cuz you're praying way too much
And don't take that pill
Your head will swell
You'll only be king once
Just once,
You'll only be king

Smile, please smile
I just want you happy
Smile, please smile
I just want you happy

And the stars refuse to shine for you
They do it just to spite
Well they know you're trying too hard

Born to be mild

www.dullmen.com

The Dull Men's Club celebrates such things as binge flossing, the history of the folding chair, and the cyberspace museum of vacuum cleaners.

Any takers?

In HD302 today, we watched High Fidelity.

Love that movie.

Damn, I haven't had a decent night of sleep for at least a week and a half. I'll come close to crossing into sleep, and then I'll dart awake, eyes wide open, sitting up in my bed. It almost feels as if I have to throw up, like something's got to come out.

Your body does strange things under stress; this must be one of them.

http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/11/05/haggard.allegations/index.html

Dealing with the "problem" must have been unimaginable for him. Through a marriage and the births of five children, it must have been rough to keep that hidden.

What kind of climate kept him from recognizing and accepting this part of himself? I don't think he's a bad person. I do think it's a pity that it remained a secret for so long, and this secret manifested itself in one of the worst ways.

Owning up to things about yourself that you're embarrassed about and/ or ashamed of isn't easy. In the end, though, you still have to look yourself in the mirror every morning. When you don't like what you see, life almost doesn't seem worth living.

Again, I'm not sure that you read this.

But if you do:

I'm only human. I made a mistake. We all screw up from time to time. I learned from it.

What we had was good. You made me happy, and I fell for you more everyday.

Neither of us is perfect, but I was willing to accept that about both you and myself.

Is it worth throwing it all away?

I've been thinking a lot about the time we've spent together: our first date, the bike ride where we saw a shooting star, the little things only we know about.

I'm not willing to believe that it's lost and gone forever.

If you think that too, please don't hesitate to let me know.

I hope I never feel the need to do this:

http://www.time.com/time/insidebiz/article/0,9171,1552061,00.html

When I'm old, I'm going to have earned every single wrinkle I have.